There's Mr. Obama's second term for you.
Interesting that the President said that we had help from the Pakistani counter-terrorism intelligence community. Didn't actually come out and say, we were working with directly with Mr. Zardari, but said that they spoke after the action.
Nice speech - well articulated, beautifully rendered. Very nice wrap up, really - hit it right on the screws.
Kudos to the US Navy Seals, that's real meat-eater stuff.
Interesting that it happened a week ago and we have the body.
I can just imagine the phone call:
"Hey, Asif, that you, yeah, yeah it's me Barack. Yeah, I'm cool - look, Asif, there's something I wanted to let you know before you caught it on CNN, yeah. See, I sent some boys downtown and we picked up Osama Bin Laden, got him right here in fact. Stuck a rod up his ass, looking at his bullet riddled corpse as we speak. Helps me focus while I write my victory speech.
Look, I would have called you earlier about this, but I figured "What the Fuck," It's like The Boys from Brazil down there anyway. Soooo, Anyhoo, Since there's a new Sheriff in town, I had my posse ^1 ride into town and dish out some good old-fashioned frontier justice. Yup, it's a sign of just how civilized we've become - usta be Homosexuals and Black Folk that we'd whup up on, but now, we got a black commander-in-chief , and while I'm certainly not stupid enough to impugn the sexuality of any of the fine young men that serve our country, should they so desire, they could hold hands and kiss if they wished - we're that fucking liberal! Really, you should try it, it's really liberating ^2 if you get my drift, and I'm damn sure that anyone who can get into Pakistan, Kill Osama, and then get the fuck out of Dodge with a corpse in his carry on - well, I'm damn sure someone with those stellar credentials can kiss who the hell he pleases. Which brings me to my last point, sorry I didn't let you know about the lynching earlier, my bad, Buuuuuuuuuut now you know. So knowing that, know this also, if one of my boys says that he wants to come down there and kiss you full on the lips, then you bet your ass that us spiriting OBL outta there without you knowing about it is going to be a fucking dream compared to what these guys will do to you.
Now, you sleep tight Asif. If I need to get hold of you, you know that all I have to do is reach out and touch you. Love to the Kids and Missus, and you swing by and see us when you're next in town - it's barbecue season"
It is so gratifying to see the New Boss being Old School ^3.
I think we should get all renaissance ^4 on OBL's ass and put him on a stake in the center of the white house lawn ^5, and have the boys that got him for us stand guard in lawnchairs, and be given hourly blow jobs, steaks and free beer, and should these fine young men feel inclined to hug and kiss, then I for one feel proud to live in a country where this is cool ^6.
Call me romantic, but that's how I roll.
It ain't gonna happen, so I have to be realistic.
What I would do if it were me, would be to measure, photograph and genetically sample the body - do an autopsy basically. Have it watched by some people for authenticity - can't say who, but I'm sure a line would stretch from coast to coast if we had a lottery. Once complete, said spectators would watch as the body were cremated and ashes collected.
That little pot of ashes - what would I do with it?
Fortunately, Annie Proulx has already solved that problem for me.
I'd take me a nice little trip to a national park, spend a weekend enjoying the very best that America has to offer, Steaks, Figs, Beans, Coffee, Metamucil, Ice Cream, Movi Prep ^7, Bacon, Eggs, Cheese, Prunes, and find me a quiet anonymous and remote thunderbox and just do what comes naturally ^8.
With this one emotional act, I would be able to say "I know where Bin Laden is." and not be completely full of shit.
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OK, this is where I started going nuts with hovers, I grew out of it, but thar's literature in them thar hovers, so I ain't pulling all of 'em out, just some of the funny ones. Don't worry, I got tired of writing ampersand rsquo semicolon to make single quotes in hover text render properly. I was spending more time fixing this shite than writing. I did it for about 13 posts (up until Sticks and Stones) then thought "fuck it" hovers are annoying, people don't read that way, and there's a cleaner literary way of doing this. I'm lazy, I'll go with literature. That's why you'll see the word could per sentence jump right after Sticks and Stones. 200 word sentences are literary, I might not be any good, and I may have completely obscured my primary rule (Meaning), but it's real good practice. If I keep slinging this shit, eventually some of it is going to make purdy patterns (sorta Pollockeque, no one knows what they mean (Except Rabo Karabekian), but they look and sound nice (you should hear how they sound in my head).
^1 In the Olde English sense, not the Gangsta sense
^2 Liberating, as in Afghanistan, Iraq
^3 The literary example of Old School being C.J. Cregg asking President Bartlett whether he knew the camera was on when he called his opponent dumb. The real life definition of Old School being what the Mossad did to Eichmann
^4 that glorious period of human endeavour between 1400 and 1600
^5 If it’s good enough for the three time Voivode of Wallachia (1431–1476), then it should be good enough for our New Age Leader
^6 Front row seats to this display of national pride reserved for the entire congregation of The Westboro Baptist Church, right in with the 9/11 families - I’m egalitarian
^7 A most efficacious purgative that essentially sequesters every last drop of available bodily fluid and shoot it in a high speed jet out of yer ass - You don’t wanna know how I know this
^8 When Annie Proulx does what she does naturally and write about this type of thing, she gets given a Pulitzer, for my verbal diarrhoea, I just ask that I get given a break
